Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Turning Points

There comes a time where a milestone or an event will create a new path for us in life. Not like the normal twists and turns of life as the years pass, but something that influences us with great depth and gives us no choice but to make dramatic changes. I call these turning points.

I've had several significant turning points in my life. I've always said that my son being sick, as sad and scary as those years were, turned out to be the beginning of some of the best times - and certainly the most positive changes - in our lives.

Taking care of my Grandmother certainly left its mark on me as well. Many wonderful memories were created, and old memories were shared and relived. What I've walked away with is invaluable. And now, with her passing, I can feel a major shift coming on... and I know I will look back on this time as another major turning point in my life.

It pays to recognize and respect these invisible guides throughout life. They usually come in the worst form, strip us clean, but then leave us with much more than they took. Less like a test, and more like a preparation ritual.

Without them we might become complacent and never veer from what is comfortable or familiar. Change comes hard, and usually only when forced.

I saw that in Katrina, as devastating and horrific as it was... I knew that there were many people out there that were getting a second chance. A time to start over, with a clean slate. Perhaps to walk away from a life that was mundane or difficult... and begin again in a new place, with new hope in their heart.

Obviously this wasnt the case for everyone affected by Katrina, but coupled with the sadness and horror that I felt for those victims... I knew in my heart that there were some that would look back on this as a major positive turning point in their lives.

Fate or Free Will? It always makes for a good debate. We all know that we wont live forever, so I guess you could say the passing of my 93yo Grandmother was "fate". But I know in my heart that what happens in my life from this point forward is certainly "free will".

When my thoughts finally do settle and things become more clear, I know that I will be ready to move forward. Not now, but hopefully soon. At the moment my mind is so full of thoughts day and night that just thinking is consuming every ounce of energy that I have.